Matagi Mutt
by Ya Boi Gogh
Summary: An experiment of some sorts concocts in the monogatari series. An experiment I hope to express in terms of distinct structure and kilter dynamics. It's all in due pleasure. The story follows a grungy feller from a fatalistic background, and how he's coming to grips with a certain ideology he's been taught off. Can the BIG BOI Arararararagi help him out?
1. Matagi Part En

**MATAGI MUTT**

Everyone, take your seats, before class starts I would very much like to introduce to you all our new transfer student. Please do the Honors. Tell us your name and a bit about yourself.

**Present**

**Bara-ara-ara-ara-ara**

Ahem. Greetings, my name is Matagi Popovich. I have transferred from Wakkanai just last Thursday. I am Half Russian and half Ai- Japanese. I lived the Majority of my life in Karafuto and North-Eastern Siberia. My hobbies are Judo, Sambo, Boxing, Pankration, Free-style Wrestling, Jiu Jitsu and Shotokan Karate...

**Muscle**

**Pale-ale-ale-ale-ale**

**186**

**82**

I spend my free time usually practicing Shi-…

**Tightened**

**Taut**

**Vascular**

Reading, reading… Russian novels... … I find this particular activity relaxing. that is all. Thank you.

**Nailed it**

It is great to have you with us Matagi-san please take the seat on the second farthest row by the window.

**Forward**

**Crack**

**Knuckles**

**Knuckles**

**Neck**

Now I hope that everyone is a bit familiarized where we left of with the Birth Of Momotaro. Bring out your copies and to page 79 now please.

**Breeze**

**Peach**

**Lax**

**… … …**

**Alarm**

**Break**

**Fist Munch**

Never knew I'd be going to such an abstract sculpture of a learning institution. They like they're colors of red and white quite a bit… … does it allude to the motifs of wines? Like theyre from France or some shit.

**Dubious POV**

**Munch**

For a Japanese town this place does not look the part, it's missing those signs, gaudy placements lights and that plastic-like flora scape... the Architecture especially. Everywhere seems as odd as the institute, the appearance they are going for is a peculiar mix of Trendy and cool scaffoldings mixed with post-futurist design… that's the correct terminology if I'm not mistaken.

**X X X**

**Munch**

Sapporo and Wakkanai don't have a tempo in semblance to the one here, the topography is wavier and the pedestrian count per square mile is lesser that that of Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk, not to same degree of emptiness of Yelizovo. But still this town, is an oddity…

**Steps**

**Sprint at Lightning wave**

**Closer**

**The smell of a sweat**

**The Sweats In view**

Hey sorry to be bothering you, but have you seen a male at 168cm, animated ahoge on his head and could be mistaken for an Okinawan by his skin complexion?

**Sweaty**

**Sweaty**

**Erotic**

**Erotic**

**Erotic**

He weighs around 50 to 60 kg and has the look of defeat in his eyes, but on particular days he looks like the captain of the bishounen team in Shoujo Jump.

**Vroom**

**Vroom**

**Engine Revving**

He has his hair covering on his uh… left eye or was it his right?

**Ready for lift off**

His build is also distinct for he looks slim bodied at first but you can tell he has firm buttocks and a vascular abdomen upon closer inspection. yada yada yada yada yada…

**Amused**

**Amused**

**But recalling**

No. Have not seen him.

He does a have a peculiar strut when he- Oh you haven't... hmm? Hey aren't you the new guy whos from Karafuto, Matagi-san, right? It's a pleasure to meet you I'm Kanbaru Suruga, I sit next to Namichi-san in the fifth row.

**Opportunity**

Apologies for not recognizing, I am still a bit green around here... The pleasure is mine Suruga.

…

**?**

…

Is there something wrong Suruga?

Bwaha! coming straight into my intimacy with the forename addressing, you think it's pretty slick huh Matagi-_kun_.

**Houston we have a problem**

**Shade to Shade**

Oh, wait that's right! You aren't accustomed in Japan are you Matagi-san, I suppose the familiarity of names is not much of thought up north is it.

**!SAFE!**

**Lax**

No, not really.

Hahaha, I must admit we were slightly shocked to know a northerner such as yourself would be the transfer student of all people, I'd have suspected the occasional Korean, American army-kid, English otaku or Brazilian born being the ones of entry. But Karafuto, wow. It must be something unimaginable over there. Even Siberia! From what I know it has those cute tigers and freezing terrains no?

… _cute tigers_ is a bit… light to say, I think.

Whaddya mean?

I mean… Well, maybe I am not one of good opinion or even have an opinion in terms of cute stuff. But tigers, especially the Siberian breed are fatal maneaters you know that right?

**Nya**

**Nya**

**Grrrrrrrrr**

…Uh umm! I was trying to keep the conversation light, that's all.

**Flying Elephant**

**!Dumbo!**

Oh yeah, totally…

Yeesh, you're a bit peculiar Matagi-san. Are all northeners of the same stock like yourself?

Umm. I like to think we are different in taste but not fortitude.

Hmmm… In what sense by fortitude?

**Inquire**

It takes a certain collective group of individuals to tame and coexist with an environment like Siberia. The callous cold and barren tundra does not hold our hand in birthday and celebration.

**Pretentious**

**Pretentious**

**Truth**

Bwahahaha! Is that the Russian literature you mentioned in your introduction to us? I was beginning to believe you were a bit stiff and rugged with that disposition of yours. But you pull a cliché as an answer.

Oh? How do you know about Russian literature may I ask… Kanbaru-san? Not to sound condescending.

Oh, you know the tropes, the archetypes, the perversion and detail I read in one of my BL manga.

**?Manga?**

**?Kamehameha?**

These tropes and archetypes are prevalent in the manga your reading? What is it called? I've always assumed Russian Literature was a niche interest amongst the Japanese social scenes.

Ha Matagi-san! It just so happens that a manga published by Shoujo Jump, takes place in the Russo-Japanese war, following a Russian poet detailing the mysticism of this Japanese soldier who's defying his fate! Its acclaimed for the dynamic romance and (in)famous for the Mangaka's illustration of Male Buttocks.

…How does that relate to Russian Literature?

Well it is from the point of view of a Russian Poet. His forename is _Popovich_ actually.

**Clarity**

**Popopopopovich**

Back to what you were asking me Kanbaru-san. Who's the individual you are trying to find? Is he a threat or something?

Hmm? Oh! Nope. He's my Sempai. Well our sempai. I thought he passed by you and was going to skip class for today. He still needs to come by my place and help me organize my room. I've left it in a disarray for too long that it now requires a slave and a master to do it solely.

**Ahoge**

**Master**

**Sama-ama-ama**

**Dono-ono-ono-_ona_**

Master? Is he like a fucking 3 dan black belt champ of the Shit-Cleaning dojo or something, his special secret technique would probably be calle-… ah, I apologize for the crass language. It comes out time and then...

**Tightened**

**Taut**

…You really are a weird guy Matagi-san. I've met my fair share of foreign strangers in this strange land of ours. But they all seemed aware and respectful in some way or another of our customs. You, on the other hand I presume knew about the forename implication and the light small talk, right?

**Nod**

**Nod**

There you go! You even nod 2 times instead of the familiar three times or one! You refuse to know about the mainstream products like the Shoujo Jump manga that's on the rise of stardom.

**Poetic Popovich**

You seem disrespectful of speech in regards to upperclassmen, especially in weird sense of humor that I guess you only find hilarious and gag-worthy.

**Osu**

And most of all you come across 5x more Perplexing in regards to the North, Karafuto and Siberia. You speak of it in a way that only you know the truth, the beautiful truth of it all.

Sigh… The beautiful truth of it all huh… Kanbaru-san I must apologize again, this time for that accurate first impression of me. I still have allot to unpack here. Not in regards of my transfer mind you. but just some ideology I am trying to get my wits around. I'd tell you why I'm like this in regards to my attitude but as I must stress, I still have allot to unpack. Another time hopefully.

**Partially Truthful**

**Partially Gibberish**

…. ...Hmm. Do you read stuff by Junji Ito Matagi-san?

No, I don't think I know who that is.

He's a Mangaka from Tokyo I think? It doesn't matter where he is from. What I'm trying to say, is that you are a bit brooding and unexplained like his stories are. You have this aroma of horror and fatalism about you ever since I first saw you at your Introduction. And I think now I was put under an illusion thinking Araragi-Sempaiii went toward your area. When I know he clearly didn't because the fastest way to the school exit is the detour by the uniform shop.

**Gust to Gust**

**Sweat to Muscle**

**Muscle to Sweat**

Kanbaru-san what are you trying to insinuate may I ask?

Can I have your contact Matagi-san, I would like to introduce to you to Araragi-Sempaiii. He would probably help you unpack whatever is your trying to unpack. He's the only high schooler I know who can.

**Bell**

**xBreakx**

**Last Munch**

Ah! What! Break is over already. Oh? oh! thanks for the contact Matagi-san. I'll probably hit you up tomorrow Sunday.

I am guessing you are not coming back to class Kanbaru-san.

Nah, no can do. I gotta catch up with Araragi-Sempaiii, A slave can't do much without the encouragement from the master, can she. Hehe.

**Stride**

**Stride**

**Sweats Away**

**Sweats No More**

…Master... ...Slave...?

**S**

**M**

**Duality**

Araragi… sigh. I must admit The Birth of Momotaro is more engaging than to what I'd imagine from an artsy dartsy establishment like this one… …Ah Shit, but tomorrow I got do my conditioning and meditation, I gotta let Suruga know it ain't a viable day for this pataphysical unpacking of mine. Oh, fuck that's the correct terminology for this setting ain't it. Pataphysical. Although Suruga is…

**Erotic**

**Erotic**

**Erotic**


	2. Matagi Part Deux

**Matagi Mutt. Deux-x-x-x-x**

**Воскресенье**

**Sunday**

Hnnn~

**Huff**

**Zercher Deadlift**

**And A 3003**

Haaaaa!

**Majora-ra-ra-ra-ra**

**And A 3004**

Hya!

**Ocarina-na-na-na-na**

**And A 3005**

**Huff**

Ugh. This… This is getting harder than it usually is… Why so? …. My prowess was that of 89 healthy men. But it doesn't feel so specific now. It is at a blurry thought of 40 men, nourished men but 40... I am decaying, aren't I?

**Strong Dog**

**Not So Strong**

Would an analogy of my supposed crescendo of a forlorn crash be that of Ra-Rasputin getting madder by every curiosity and bullet he comes by?

**The Russian Mad Man**

**The Incoherent Ballad **

Ra-Rasputin. A_ Mad Miserable Monk_ who can be my eulogy…The semblance, our semblance is uncanny…. Pale as milk. Check. Eyes of a dead yellow dog. Check. Hair black as raw obsidian and thick like the roots of Yggdrasil, the Life Tree. Check. …Punctured by lead and fell into a thawing stream on the supposed day of death. Check. Utter madness to tremble the children in their stories of somber existential Slavic myth. To be announced… maybe.

**Heaving Huff**

**Huff**

Ra-Rasputin**, **we are quite similar aren't we.

**Huff**

**Russo-Japanese**

We know there is power greater than human comprehension. Comprehension that is meaningless as a crutch for fortitude. Fortitude that is our build up of tolerance and mediation. Mediation that is for our prime source of prime comfort. And comfort that would birth content. It is why we are curious about it all… huh. Ra-Rasputin, would you be impressed by this quasi-coherent spiel of mine?

**No**

**Not Really**

Would you be sullen that I am the mightier yet fairer of the two?

**No **

**Not Really**

Would I be Sullen that you are the _pure_ and wiser of the two?

**No**

**Not Really**

Would!... never mind. On a note of seriousness, I do feel like shit. I'd usually get a high after I reach the 8000th rep. But the problem seems to rely on internal factors rather than the external. The soil under my feet is warm enough and ordinary, with the crestfallen twigs and patches of fungi giving full evidence of it. And the quality of the air is fresh, very fresh… That could be it! It's too good to be true for this air to carry the same amount of coniferous scents as Sakhalin. Because for all I kno-… I seem to be overthinking it. I know the reason why I'm more fragile than usual. But I just do not want to acknowledge it.

**Huff**

**Taut**

My age is at the cusp of hilting…. The dog days of 16 comes around does it not…

**Mela-ela-ela-ela-ela-elancholia**

**Lax**

**Nokia Anthem**

**Nokia Anthem**

Hello?

Hi. Is this Matagi Popovich? I'm Araragi Koyomi an upperclassman from high school. Kanbaru gave me your contact today for unspecified reasons. From what I can deduce you are going through something odd, internally odd.

Yawn… Sigh. Yes, this is me. Su- Kanbaru-san mentioned you as her Master of some sort am I correct…

**Shameful Truth**

**Quasi Truth**

No! not in the damn slightest! Do not listen to her perverted ramblings, she is just a breathing walking talking degenerate! With no filter for formality and civil discussion.

**The Roar Of A Hypocrite **

Don't fret about it. I understood there was something raunchy about her ever since she appeared in front of me… haha. She said you have a tight and pleasant ass as a when describing your appearance… Hehe. Apologies you would have to excuse my casual talk.

Ohh? She said a I have a pleasant one? Then answer me this Matagi-san, what do you think of her peach.

**Heavy Breaths Through Phone**

**A Hypocrite**

I don't know. The notion did not pop up to check her out from the back. I already got a thankful view from the front. So, my thirst at the meantime is satiated.

**Glistening Sweat**

**Erotic**

From the front? mumble..mumble. Ohhh, she was working a sweat, wasn't she? Giving that skin of hers a sensual sheen.

**Cultured**

**Observant**

Ha! Exactly, the perverted appeal of sweat does not usually do much for my stimulation. But it works for her really well. It's the same sort of enchantment as the water reflection in a picturesque lake, and in that picturesque lake a Uri brown bear comes forth and licks the surface of the water for its own thirst and enjoyment.

**It Is Only Natural**

Ahh, that's quite the metaphor Matagi-san. I'm sure you would go far with that lingue of yours… Nevertheless, her profound glory comes from her peachy peach. Believe me It is fleshy and bulbous enough to compliment her toned figure in ways that goes against the quota of the fellowship of the boobs… Ahh, please don't ever tell her that okay.

Are you a buttocks admirer Araragi? I thought breasts were the biggest deal of sexual eroticism in the Mainland. I assume so, because when I was child and visited Sapporo and Hakodate, there was always those references and nosebleeds that relate to the breasts. The commercials, the shows, the communal toilets, the children's section in bookstores, even in a restaurant's menu. The overall marketing strategy relies on breasts as the hook. Japan's answer for the _Sex Sells_ saying.

**Japanese Mad Men**

… I am pretty sure breasts is used a strategy everywhere else in the world.

You would be surprised Araragi, the world does not revolve around the east.

What do you mean by that?

Fatter than usual buttocks are the in-thing in America from what I know at the moment and has been so for the past decade. And once this trend is a cultural phenomenon there, it would sooner or eventually spread its influence into Europe. Like Spielberg, Beyoncé and McDonalds. Norwegians, Belgians, Albanians they are all going to make a big deal out of it. Americanization, probably the most obnoxious influence in the world.

**McDonaldization**

**The Fattest Villain**

Hmm. You reckon the ass invasion will reach to our shores Corporal Matagi?!

**The Power of Fat Asses**

Hmph. That's what they want us to believe Private Araragi. Those decadent Americans insist to have a foot of influence around the world. But we know better, the Koreans know better, the Mongolians and Kazakhs know better. The defeated populace of Afghanistan knows better… Our tomfoolery and stubborn fortitude will repel the shit they _insist_ to give us.

**Hard Boiled Conflict**

… Corporal Matagi, are you this is a war that can be won by stubbornness alone.

Private Araragi. In the age-old epic of Tits vs Ass, the score is always settled by fortitude. Just this time a stranger of these affairs like myself is leading the battalions to victory. Even in this uncertain outcome Private Araragi, will you be by my side and trust our grit.

**Rebel with A Cause**

**Soiya**

**Soiya**

Gulp… of course Corporal Matagi… I will sacrifice fluid and marrow for our victory. But… next time you see Kanbaru in clothing that isn't her school uniform get a good look alright, its good stuff.

**Good Monkey Business **

Ha! Naturally! To get back on track though. What was it that Kanbaru-san inquired you on my person about?

She mentioned that you were going through something unexplained, and by the tone she described it is a bit _unnaturally_ odd.

… I have wondered what made her assume as much. Was it my off-kilter appearance…?

**Jagged Popovich**

**Old Dog Popovich**

Probably just a hunch of hers. Twitch in the arm or something.

**The Arms with Bandages**

And how do you come to this? granted I have not met you in person. Hell, this is our first exchange.

Well, I uh... have my fair share of dealings with these sorts of things. Like a therapist or exorcist of some sort.

**Reckless Hero**

**Abhorrent Justice**

**Stubborn Fortitude **

Are you good at it? No… wait I mean is, are you open about it.

What do you mean by open Matagi-san? If there is a problem on your person then it should be resolved with no?

Sigh… you know Araragi, I could tell straight away this town was off by the disposition of the air clarity and colorization of otherwise normal living. You and Kanbaru-san are the evidence that proves this feeling.

Then if you have an overall awareness of the situation you are now in Matagi-san, shouldn't you at least confront it and resolve it rather than be cryptic and private. I am not only worried about what is going on with you, but if it can harm anyone else, whether by intention or not.

Who do you think you are Araragi? some heroic protagonist that is facing an unknown force? Hmph… you mainlanders are all quite same honestly. Tits and Self-righteousness… Sigh… sorry, that side of me is my northerner squall peaking out. But, Araragi you should not always come to the conclusion that something odd can be resolved. Sometimes it already is. This thing going on with me at the moment has nothing to do with any semblance of what is going on in this town. It is just my own luggage that I carry around. A luggage that is already resolved and dealt with.

**Siberian Bound**

My, you have some bite and maw against the story don't you… no, not bitterness, just aggressive indifference right? I'm not sure what this luggage you are carrying Matagi-san but it is clear to know it isn't malicious or harmful in any way by the judgment of the tone.

Nah it isn't. Just natural progression in all it's virtues and venoms, just like what life throws at you. Maybe when I'm settled down here for a bit, we'll share our stories with some vodka no?

**Manly Trade**

Ah! no thanks. Cola is fine honestly.

**Herbivore Boy**

Alright senpai… when we meet it will be a delight to check out the tight buttocks you sport.

Hahaha! I'm sure it won't disappoint. Let's see if you are the Phidian sculpted pagan God that Kanbaru described. Never met a paganistic God… or a Phidian sculpted hunk. Hahaha Take care Matagi-san.

**Ended Call**

**Nokia at 78 Percent**

…She said I'm a hunk…?


End file.
